1 00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:09,310 [Nametag Alexander's "Not At All"] 2 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:13,758 - Welcome back to Roman candle baseball World Series. 3 00:00:13,758 --> 00:00:15,793 Sam Duvet at the bat. 4 00:00:15,793 --> 00:00:17,586 They've just integrated the league. 5 00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:20,344 He's coming to us from the Roman candle baseball 6 00:00:20,344 --> 00:00:21,689 negro leagues. 7 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,241 - It's a proud day for me. 8 00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:24,620 - He was not very good there, 9 00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:27,413 but he is fantastic with the whites. 10 00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:29,689 - I feel like Superman on Earth. 11 00:00:29,689 --> 00:00:31,724 I got powers here, baby. 12 00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:35,172 - Lot of folks in the stands not happy with the decision. 13 00:00:35,172 --> 00:00:37,482 [Southern accent] Get him off the field! 14 00:00:37,482 --> 00:00:39,413 This a white man's sport! 15 00:00:39,413 --> 00:00:42,172 They'll steal our women! 16 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,793 - Say hello to a new day, you white pieces of shit! 17 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,551 - Here comes the first pitch! 18 00:00:46,551 --> 00:00:49,068 [Roman candle fires] Strike one! 19 00:00:49,068 --> 00:00:50,517 [Roman candle fires] Strike two! 20 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,448 [Roman candle fires] - Crap! 21 00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:54,689 [Roman candle fires] - Oh sh--Chrissy, spray him! 22 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:58,172 Spray him, Chrissy, spray him off! 23 00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,793 - Dumbass. 24 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,586 - Actually, all y'all are a bunch of dumbasses 25 00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:03,448 if you ask me. - Hey, Lois. 26 00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:05,448 - Hey, girl. 27 00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:07,586 Tim Cramblin, you still here? 28 00:01:07,586 --> 00:01:09,517 - Hey, Lois. 29 00:01:09,517 --> 00:01:11,620 - I've been working the line next to your wife 30 00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:14,655 for the last ten years, and every day I ask her 31 00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:17,586 when is she gonna dump your sorry ass? 32 00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:20,172 - What does she say? She says she's not, right? 33 00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:22,620 - [laughter] Hey, Sam. 34 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,655 - Hey, Lois. 35 00:01:24,655 --> 00:01:26,586 - If you're not careful, I'm gonna have to leave my husband 36 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,275 and run away with you. 37 00:01:28,275 --> 00:01:29,827 Actually, I've got 30 seconds right now. 38 00:01:29,827 --> 00:01:31,379 You want to show me what you got? 39 00:01:31,379 --> 00:01:32,793 - Oh, I'm gonna need more time than that. 40 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:33,862 Like at least a half hour. 41 00:01:33,862 --> 00:01:35,689 [laughter] 42 00:01:35,689 --> 00:01:37,793 - Yeah, that's because he gonna have to take a dump 43 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,724 before and after. 44 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,206 - First of all, how do you know that? 45 00:01:41,206 --> 00:01:42,517 Second, shut up. 46 00:01:42,517 --> 00:01:43,862 - You want to make me? 47 00:01:43,862 --> 00:01:46,827 - Do I have to? 48 00:01:46,827 --> 00:01:48,379 - Don't hit her in the face, Sam. 49 00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:50,310 Actually go ahead. It might shake 50 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,551 that shit back into place. 51 00:01:51,551 --> 00:01:53,344 [laughter] 52 00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:55,586 - You think I enjoy working next to you every day? 53 00:01:55,586 --> 00:01:57,724 You're like a chimney with titties! 54 00:01:57,724 --> 00:01:59,655 - Yeah, old baggy ones too! 55 00:01:59,655 --> 00:02:01,655 You better look out, Tommy Hearns will come by 56 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,620 and bounce those things around like-- 57 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,827 [imitates speedbag] 58 00:02:04,827 --> 00:02:07,206 - Yeah, Lois, you're no prize yourself. 59 00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:09,275 You're pretty old, you smoke, you eat like crap, 60 00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:11,310 Frickin' disgusting. - Tim! 61 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,482 - How is that different from what you guys were doing? 62 00:02:13,482 --> 00:02:15,896 - It can't be like real, Tim. 63 00:02:15,896 --> 00:02:17,413 - I see you still don't have kids. 64 00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:18,862 You still shooting blanks, Tim? 65 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:20,827 - Heck no, I'm packed full of sperm. 66 00:02:20,827 --> 00:02:23,551 They're huge too. I can feel them inside me right now. 67 00:02:23,551 --> 00:02:25,310 Sometimes they hurt when they blast out. 68 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,965 - Tim, come on. 69 00:02:26,965 --> 00:02:29,793 - I'm joking. I don't know how to do it, I guess. 70 00:02:29,793 --> 00:02:31,724 ♪ ♪ 71 00:02:34,448 --> 00:02:36,344 - Hey. - Oh, hey. 72 00:02:36,344 --> 00:02:37,655 Can we have one of those? 73 00:02:37,655 --> 00:02:39,758 - Oh, by all means. 74 00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:41,931 Ladies, be my guest. 75 00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:45,655 - "Be my guest." You proper! 76 00:02:45,655 --> 00:02:47,689 - Excuse me? - You talk proper. 77 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,206 - What do you even mean? 78 00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:52,551 - The way you talk is proper. 79 00:02:52,551 --> 00:02:57,896 - Proper? Shoot, girl. Far from it. 80 00:02:57,896 --> 00:03:00,724 - Oh, okay. Is this your house? 81 00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:02,827 - Yeah, this the crib right here. 82 00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:04,551 - Okay. 83 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:08,793 This is my homegirl Jasmin, but she got a boyfriend. 84 00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:10,931 I'm Angel, though. 85 00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:12,517 - Oh, for real--oh, word? 86 00:03:12,517 --> 00:03:13,620 - Word. 87 00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:14,689 - I'm Sam. 88 00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:16,620 [fireworks exploding] 89 00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:19,620 Oooh! 90 00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:22,482 I mean, that's it? Shoot. 91 00:03:22,482 --> 00:03:24,689 I mean that last one, though, was spectacular. 92 00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:26,758 - Sam! Did you see that last one? 93 00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:28,965 Whoa! - [mouthing] 94 00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:31,793 Yo, patriotic as a muh. 95 00:03:31,793 --> 00:03:34,310 - Happy Fourth of July, everybody! 96 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,931 - Happy Fourth, Lois. 97 00:03:35,931 --> 00:03:38,689 - I love you, you little bony bitch! 98 00:03:38,689 --> 00:03:41,689 [soft organ music] 99 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:47,241 ♪ ♪ 100 00:03:47,241 --> 00:03:48,689 - Hey, babe. - Hey. 101 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,620 - How you doing? - I'm holding up. 102 00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:54,310 - Hang in there, dum-dum. Love you. 103 00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:57,827 - Guys, this is Elwood. He was Lois' husband. 104 00:03:57,827 --> 00:04:02,344 - Oh, we're so sorry for your loss. We loved Lois very much. 105 00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:04,551 - Damn emphysema. If only I told her not 106 00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:06,551 to smoke that last cigarette. 107 00:04:06,551 --> 00:04:09,689 - I don't think it was the last cigarette that did it. 108 00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:11,482 [whispered] Plus she ate like shit. 109 00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:12,965 - Tim! 110 00:04:12,965 --> 00:04:14,827 - Let us know if you ever need anything. 111 00:04:14,827 --> 00:04:17,931 Someone to hang out with or just someone to talk to. 112 00:04:17,931 --> 00:04:19,620 - Tomorrow. 113 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:20,862 - Huh? 114 00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:24,551 - Well, let's hang out tomorrow. 115 00:04:24,551 --> 00:04:26,448 - Okay. 116 00:04:26,448 --> 00:04:28,793 Yeah, that'll be nice. 117 00:04:28,793 --> 00:04:30,793 - Oh! - Oh, no! 118 00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,724 - What in the world? 119 00:04:32,724 --> 00:04:35,724 - Move on! This was her final wish. We respected it. 120 00:04:35,724 --> 00:04:37,310 Now just move on! 121 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:40,896 - Ohh. - So waxy. 122 00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:44,758 She looks lovely. - Thank you. 123 00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:46,827 both: Whoa! 124 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:50,793 - ♪ Next time when they ask you where you're from ♪ 125 00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:52,793 ♪ You gonna say Detroit City ♪ 126 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,517 ♪ Where we get you back on your feet ♪ 127 00:04:55,517 --> 00:04:58,068 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 128 00:04:58,068 --> 00:04:59,862 - Good afternoon. 129 00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:03,724 Lois Warfield was a dedicated friend, 130 00:05:03,724 --> 00:05:06,793 a loving wife, and a proud union autoworker. 131 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:11,103 And while we mourn her loss, let's look at the bright side. 132 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,655 God's car's gonna be running a little smoother tonight. 133 00:05:13,655 --> 00:05:15,758 [laughter] 134 00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:17,655 And trust me, you know the big man 135 00:05:17,655 --> 00:05:19,551 won't be driving an import. Amen. 136 00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,517 [laughter] 137 00:05:21,517 --> 00:05:23,103 - It's not funny. 138 00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:24,931 They're just laughing 'cause he's a pastor. 139 00:05:24,931 --> 00:05:26,689 - I know, he's capitalizing on these people's sorrow. 140 00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:28,517 It's bullshit. 141 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:30,448 - Some of Lois' friends and family have asked 142 00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:31,758 to say a few words. 143 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,896 - Looking in the crowd at the faces of all my coworkers, 144 00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,655 I'm gonna miss all the shit that Lois said about you 145 00:05:44,655 --> 00:05:45,758 every single day. 146 00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:47,827 [laughter] 147 00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:51,068 - I mean, Fred, with Lois gone, who I'm gonna laugh with 148 00:05:51,068 --> 00:05:52,724 about your double chins? 149 00:05:52,724 --> 00:05:53,931 - Double chins? 150 00:05:53,931 --> 00:05:55,862 That's muscle, playa. 151 00:05:55,862 --> 00:05:58,137 - A lot of people thought Lois was mean, 152 00:05:58,137 --> 00:06:00,103 but I knew with every jab, 153 00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:02,206 every insult, 154 00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:06,310 it was just her way of saying "I love you." 155 00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:20,758 - I don't know what I'm gonna do without Lois. 156 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,137 Who's gonna make my sandwich? 157 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,827 Who's gonna make my bed? 158 00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:36,034 - Mm? That's it? 159 00:06:36,034 --> 00:06:38,034 - Okay, then. - That's all he's gonna say. 160 00:06:38,034 --> 00:06:40,137 - And we gotta hang out with this guy tomorrow. 161 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:42,137 - Well, you do. - Thank you, brother Elwood. 162 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:44,034 - Thank you. - No problem. 163 00:06:44,034 --> 00:06:46,241 - It was a lovely service. Thank you. 164 00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:48,551 - Thank you, thank you. I'm sorry again for your loss. 165 00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:50,206 - Thank you. - All right. 166 00:06:50,206 --> 00:06:52,000 - Yeah, I just want to say it was a beautiful service, 167 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,793 but you and I both know you wouldn't have gotten 168 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,517 those laughs if you weren't a pastor. 169 00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:57,068 - [scoffs] I'm sorry? 170 00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,862 - Oh, it's no big deal. I don't care. 171 00:06:59,862 --> 00:07:02,000 I'm just saying you're not actually funny, 172 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,896 so don't feel proud about today. 173 00:07:04,896 --> 00:07:06,206 - People grieve in their own ways, son. 174 00:07:06,206 --> 00:07:07,793 - No. No. - I just wanted to say, 175 00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:09,793 beautiful service. - Oh, thank you. 176 00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:11,517 - I hope you don't think you deserved any of those laughs-- 177 00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:13,103 - No, I just told him. I just told him. 178 00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:15,000 - Oh, okay. - I just gave him the heads up. 179 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,689 - Okay, yeah, that's the worst kind of hack there is. 180 00:07:16,689 --> 00:07:18,275 - Beautiful service, though! - Beautiful! 181 00:07:18,275 --> 00:07:19,655 - Thank you again, gentlemen. My condolences. 182 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:21,000 - Can't wait for tomorrow, Tim. 183 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,241 - Yeah, me neither. I'll be by then. 184 00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:24,827 - And you'll stay a while? 185 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,000 - Yes. 186 00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:34,965 Ugh. You invited Angel to a funeral? 187 00:07:34,965 --> 00:07:36,586 - Nah, she's just picking me up. 188 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,103 I wanted her to see me in this suit. 189 00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,551 - I mean, you do look good in that suit. 190 00:07:39,551 --> 00:07:41,655 Oh, and some buffs! 191 00:07:41,655 --> 00:07:43,103 Oh! 192 00:07:43,103 --> 00:07:45,172 - You're ready? I'm sorry about your friend. 193 00:07:45,172 --> 00:07:48,724 - No, no, it's cool, it's cool. I mean, she flown. 194 00:07:48,724 --> 00:07:51,068 But I tell you what, baby, why don't you go grab the whip. 195 00:07:51,068 --> 00:07:53,758 Uh... I gotta holla at my--my baby right here 196 00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:54,896 about some business real quick. 197 00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:57,896 - Okay. - All right. 198 00:07:57,896 --> 00:07:59,965 - Shut up, Tim. - All right, then. 199 00:07:59,965 --> 00:08:01,862 - All right? - You're gonna get busted. 200 00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,655 - I'm not gonna get busted. I can keep this up. 201 00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:05,000 - Sam! - Huh? 202 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,689 - You comin'? - Chill, baby, 203 00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:08,965 I ain't said nothing but a motherfu' word. 204 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:13,827 - See ya, Sam. 205 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,586 - Yeah, baby. No, oh, word? Shoot! 206 00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:20,206 [laughs] Yeah. 207 00:08:20,206 --> 00:08:22,862 Yeah, yeah, no. It ain't nothing but a thing. 208 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:25,793 All right. Yeah, I'll run through then. 209 00:08:25,793 --> 00:08:28,068 All right, peace. That was Angel. 210 00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:30,137 - Yeah, I know, because of how you talked. 211 00:08:30,137 --> 00:08:31,758 - Did it sound natural? 212 00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:33,931 - No, you're gonna get busted. 213 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:39,206 - Shoot, I'm gonna be just fine, pl-pl-pep boy. 214 00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:40,724 - Pep boy? - Oh, no. 215 00:08:40,724 --> 00:08:42,206 - Uh-oh! 216 00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:44,000 - See you later. I'm going to work. 217 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,758 - Okay. You're gonna be all right? 218 00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,344 It's gonna be tough working with someone new. 219 00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:49,689 - Yeah, I know, but I'm gonna go in with an open mind. 220 00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:50,862 - Mm-hmm. - She won't be Lois, 221 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,344 but no one is. 222 00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,344 - Ah, but, Chrissy, think of how hard 223 00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:56,931 it's gonna be on your new linemate when she finds out... 224 00:08:56,931 --> 00:08:58,206 Never mind. 225 00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:00,620 - What? 226 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,137 - It was just a perfectly-worded slam 227 00:09:02,137 --> 00:09:03,275 that would've totally devastated you, 228 00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:05,862 but you're grieving, so... 229 00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:07,137 - Thank you, Sam. - Thank you, Sam. 230 00:09:07,137 --> 00:09:08,689 - You're welcome. - So nice of you. 231 00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:11,586 Bye. I love you. - Love you too. 232 00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:15,655 [doorbell rings] 233 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,862 - Hey, I'm here. - Come on in, 234 00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:22,000 I'll show you around the house. 235 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,620 - Okay. Sure. 236 00:09:28,793 --> 00:09:31,034 - This used to be our room. 237 00:09:31,034 --> 00:09:34,241 Pictures. Lamp. 238 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,103 That used to be our bed. 239 00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:41,413 Sorry it's a mess, but Lois used to make the bed. 240 00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:46,068 Now, she's gone. 241 00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:49,344 - Hey, I can make the bed for you, Elwood. 242 00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:51,655 - You'd do that for me? - Yeah, I'd be happy to. 243 00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:52,827 Yes. 244 00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:59,862 - Wow, look at you. 245 00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:01,172 You're a pro at that. 246 00:10:01,172 --> 00:10:03,413 - Oh, I don't know about that. 247 00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:05,965 Thank you. 248 00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:07,827 - This is the kitchen. 249 00:10:07,827 --> 00:10:09,724 Lois used to make sandwiches for me 250 00:10:09,724 --> 00:10:11,793 in here when she was alive. 251 00:10:11,793 --> 00:10:14,103 Now she's sandwiches for worms. 252 00:10:14,103 --> 00:10:16,862 I sure am hungry. 253 00:10:16,862 --> 00:10:18,896 - I can make you a sandwich, Elwood. 254 00:10:18,896 --> 00:10:20,793 - Well, you were so good at making that bed. 255 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:22,275 - [laughter] Shut up. 256 00:10:25,344 --> 00:10:27,000 - You're a good man, Tim. 257 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,689 - Yeah, well, everybody loved Lois, 258 00:10:28,689 --> 00:10:30,310 so it's no problem at all. 259 00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:36,931 - What's the ETA on that sandwich? 260 00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:40,068 - It's coming. - Like five? 261 00:10:40,068 --> 00:10:42,344 Ten? - Probably ten. 262 00:10:42,344 --> 00:10:44,862 - Five would be better. 263 00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:46,862 - Okay, yeah. 264 00:10:46,862 --> 00:10:49,758 I'll see what I can do. Everybody loved Lois very much. 265 00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,862 ♪ ♪ 266 00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:56,413 - ♪ You came into my life ♪ 267 00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:59,137 - Oh, baby, how about "Star Century Prime"? 268 00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:00,793 You know? I heard it just came out today, 269 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,206 it looks good as mud. 270 00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:03,724 - No, let's just go see "Fat Bieber." 271 00:11:03,724 --> 00:11:05,172 - Yeah, it does look hilarious. 272 00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:07,068 - Yeah. - Hell yeah. 273 00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:09,137 But you know, I heard "Star Century Prime" 274 00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:11,793 is 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. I mean that's consensus. 275 00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,137 - Well, you know, Jasmin saw "Fat Bieber" yesterday, 276 00:11:14,137 --> 00:11:16,862 and she said it was real funny. - Jasmin said that, huh? 277 00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:19,482 Yeah, well, I guess she knows more than Leonard Maltin. 278 00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:21,413 - Leonard Maltin! - [laughter] 279 00:11:21,413 --> 00:11:23,448 No, you know what? Let's go to "Fat Bieber" then. 280 00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:25,793 Shoot, we might mess around and see two movies. 281 00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,793 - You play too much. - No. 282 00:11:27,793 --> 00:11:31,896 - ♪ Whoa, baby, whoa, baby I'm coming home ♪ 283 00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:34,000 ♪ Baby, whoa, baby ♪ - Yo, Chrissy! 284 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,482 Bring it in, bring it in. 285 00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:37,413 Chrissy, this is Margaret, your new linemate. 286 00:11:37,413 --> 00:11:39,275 Margaret, this is Chrissy. 287 00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,827 She gonna be showing you the ropes, all right? All right. 288 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,241 - Hey, Margaret. - Chrissy, nice to meet you. 289 00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:46,344 - You check out Fred and his double chins? 290 00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:48,344 His neck lookin' like a sideways butt. 291 00:11:48,344 --> 00:11:50,137 - He was very nice to me. 292 00:11:50,137 --> 00:11:52,275 - Yeah, sure, sorry. 293 00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:54,482 My old linemate and I used to make fun of people. 294 00:11:54,482 --> 00:11:56,000 Just our way of showing love. 295 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,896 - Well, I was bullied as a kid, 296 00:11:57,896 --> 00:12:00,206 so that sort of thing isn't fun for me. 297 00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:03,275 - Oh, sorry. Kids can be so mean. 298 00:12:03,275 --> 00:12:05,931 Kids made fun of me because my head was always in a book. 299 00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:08,172 - My hairline started at my eyebrows. 300 00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:10,103 - [suppressed laughter] 301 00:12:10,103 --> 00:12:12,137 That must've been very hard for you. 302 00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:14,000 - It was. 303 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,172 - So you were like Moe from "The Three Stooges?" 304 00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:18,310 Shit! 305 00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:23,965 - Okay. Back door's locked and I checked the crawlspace. 306 00:12:23,965 --> 00:12:25,931 Nobody in there. 307 00:12:25,931 --> 00:12:28,896 Well, Elwood, I've had a great entire Sunday with you. 308 00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:32,413 - Do you mind staying until I fall asleep? Lois used to. 309 00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,068 - Yeah, but she used to live here. 310 00:12:34,068 --> 00:12:35,517 - And she died here. 311 00:12:35,517 --> 00:12:39,275 - [sighs] 312 00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:41,000 - I don't know how I'm ever gonna get to sleep 313 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,275 without the smell of smoke in here. 314 00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:46,758 - I'm not smoking, Elwood. I don't smoke. 315 00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:49,862 Nighty night. 316 00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:57,137 - Oh, no! Yo, I grew up and got fat, yo! 317 00:12:57,137 --> 00:12:59,068 [laughter] 318 00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:00,482 I'm gonna have to go back in Usher's time machine 319 00:13:00,482 --> 00:13:03,206 and warn myself not to smoke weed! 320 00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:05,000 - Mm-hmm! Don't you do it, Justin! 321 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,586 You smoke that kush! [laughter] 322 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,206 - Babe, I'm trying to listen, okay? 323 00:13:08,206 --> 00:13:09,551 If we're gonna talk, we're gonna talk, 324 00:13:09,551 --> 00:13:10,931 but if we're gonna watch the movie, 325 00:13:10,931 --> 00:13:12,310 let's just watch the movie. 326 00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:14,379 - Okay, here I go! Come on, Sammich. 327 00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:15,517 - Man, that nigga fat! 328 00:13:15,517 --> 00:13:17,965 [laughter] 329 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,344 - Let's maybe leave the jokes to the professionals. 330 00:13:19,344 --> 00:13:21,000 - Man, turn your ass around! 331 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,862 [dramatic cinematic music] 332 00:13:22,862 --> 00:13:25,172 - I will have you ejected, just so you know. 333 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,068 ♪ ♪ 334 00:13:27,068 --> 00:13:29,068 [laughter] He wild! 335 00:13:29,068 --> 00:13:31,965 - Yeah. - Wild! Wild! 336 00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:34,931 Look at how fat he is. [laughter] 337 00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:36,931 ♪ ♪ 338 00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,931 That big ol' fat negro. [laughter] 339 00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:44,379 - Oh! Oh, my God! 340 00:13:44,379 --> 00:13:46,965 Oh! This is amazing! 341 00:13:46,965 --> 00:13:48,482 - What? 342 00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:50,034 - Uh, we smashing, you know what I mean? 343 00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:51,034 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 344 00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:52,344 [both moaning] 345 00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,862 - Oh, yeah! Talk more to me, daddy! 346 00:13:54,862 --> 00:13:56,448 - Nah, dawg. 347 00:13:56,448 --> 00:13:58,517 Boom, boom, boom, boom! I'm putting in work! 348 00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:00,275 I'm all up in them guts. - Oh, no! 349 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,137 - Whoa! Jesus! - I'm sorry. 350 00:14:02,137 --> 00:14:04,413 - Sam, if Dad heard you talking like that, 351 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:05,689 he would beat your ass. 352 00:14:05,689 --> 00:14:07,689 - [scoffs] I would knock Dad out. 353 00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:10,172 I mean, don't tell Dad. 354 00:14:10,172 --> 00:14:11,689 - Sam, I don't know why you're acting 355 00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:13,275 like somebody you're not, 356 00:14:13,275 --> 00:14:15,068 just to impress some hoochie mama. 357 00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:17,551 - Chrissy! "Hoochie mama"? 358 00:14:17,551 --> 00:14:19,379 Shame on you for judging people, 359 00:14:19,379 --> 00:14:21,379 when you yourself are the biggest piece of shit 360 00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:22,586 I've ever seen. 361 00:14:22,586 --> 00:14:25,034 - Sam, her linemate just died. 362 00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:26,517 - Ah, a week ago. Gloves are off. 363 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:28,448 She's got a new linemate. Who cares? 364 00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:30,965 - But I can't say anything to Margaret or she'll cry. 365 00:14:30,965 --> 00:14:32,965 - What do you mean? 366 00:14:32,965 --> 00:14:35,241 - She was bullied as a kid, so I can't say shit about her 367 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,172 or anybody else. 368 00:14:37,172 --> 00:14:40,275 The other day, Fred farted so hard his back went out. 369 00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:42,275 [laughter] 370 00:14:42,275 --> 00:14:44,034 She didn't even giggle! 371 00:14:44,034 --> 00:14:47,344 She said, "It's not funny! He's actually hurt!" 372 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:50,344 [laughter] 373 00:14:50,344 --> 00:14:53,103 - I'm sorry, babe. That sucks. 374 00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:55,448 - He's getting workman's comp. 375 00:14:55,448 --> 00:14:57,103 [laughter] 376 00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,862 - See? It's funny! - Yes! 377 00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:04,310 - Lunchtime. 378 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:07,068 Mm-mm-mm! Look at that hamper. 379 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:10,655 You know, Lois used to do the laundry. 380 00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:13,620 - Yeah, yeah, she did everything around here. 381 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:14,620 And you know what? 382 00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:22,034 - Ohh. Ohh. 383 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,310 I am not Lois! 384 00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:30,724 Elwood, it's time for you to start making your own damn bed! 385 00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,172 It's time for you to start making 386 00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:34,344 your own damn sandwiches. 387 00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:37,655 It's not hard! Just put two pieces of bread 388 00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,724 around slices of meat! 389 00:15:39,724 --> 00:15:42,068 - Is this it? - No, that's a ball! 390 00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:44,344 Come on, I feel like you're getting it wrong on purpose. 391 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,413 - No, I'm not! I can't do it. 392 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,551 - Well, then you're gonna have to figure this shit out, man. 393 00:15:48,551 --> 00:15:50,620 One day, I'll die and Chrissy will have to figure out 394 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,344 how to go on without me! 395 00:15:52,344 --> 00:15:54,413 - Maybe she could remarry. - No! 396 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:57,620 If your spouse dies and you remarry, you go to Hell, man! 397 00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:59,965 Come here. 398 00:16:03,034 --> 00:16:05,241 Good-bye, Elwood. 399 00:16:05,241 --> 00:16:06,172 You can do this. 400 00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:11,275 [funky, upbeat music] 401 00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:14,172 ♪ ♪ 402 00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:24,655 - Margaret, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. 403 00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:26,344 But I can't work in silence every day. 404 00:16:26,344 --> 00:16:28,206 I have to talk, or I'll go crazy. 405 00:16:28,206 --> 00:16:30,413 - You want to make fun of people. I don't like bullies. 406 00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:32,241 - I know. 407 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,103 - It's because my hairline used to start at my eyebrows. 408 00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:36,448 - Oh, I know, and it sucks that happened to you. 409 00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:38,379 - They used to say the meanest things to me. 410 00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:41,206 They used to call me "Bride of Chewbacca." 411 00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:44,206 - Maybe you should tell me what else they would call you. 412 00:16:44,206 --> 00:16:46,172 You know, to get it off of your chest. 413 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,620 - They used to call me the Forehead-less Horseman. 414 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:50,413 - Assholes! 415 00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:53,620 - 'Sup, ladies? 416 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,620 - What do you think those jerks would've said 417 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,310 about Little Joey? 418 00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,172 - Oh, man, they'd probably say something like, 419 00:16:59,172 --> 00:17:00,620 "Little Joey's so short, 420 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,862 he needs a ladder to go down on Tinkerbell." 421 00:17:02,862 --> 00:17:04,896 You know, like he'd have to climb up that ladder 422 00:17:04,896 --> 00:17:06,827 to eat out her vagina or something like that. 423 00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:09,586 - That is so mean. What do you think they'd say about Fred? 424 00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:12,241 - They'd say, "Fred's neck is so weak, 425 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:14,620 he has to ask his tits for lunch money." 426 00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:17,586 - These are my people. They gonna love you. 427 00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:18,758 What up, y'all? 428 00:17:18,758 --> 00:17:21,206 This my man, Sam. 429 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,379 - Ha. 'Sup, 'sup, 'sup? 430 00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:24,724 Ooh, y'all--y'all drinkin', huh? 431 00:17:24,724 --> 00:17:26,827 Uh, let me get a Hpno. 432 00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:28,655 [laughter] You know what I'm saying? 433 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:31,379 - Yo, Sam, your pants tight as hell, my nigga. 434 00:17:31,379 --> 00:17:33,620 - Yeah, that's funny you mentioned that, 435 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,620 'cause this is the only pants I had that was, uh... clean. 436 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,413 I went--I bought some-- I thought I was getting these 437 00:17:39,413 --> 00:17:41,931 in a XXL, and I got home, these are medium. 438 00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:44,482 I was like, I gotta go to the store 439 00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:46,379 and talk to these people face to face. 440 00:17:46,379 --> 00:17:48,862 So I went to the store, I was like, "Hey! 441 00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:51,827 Hey, my brah, uh...You gave me the wrong size pants." 442 00:17:51,827 --> 00:17:53,689 And it was like, "Nothing I can do for you, man." 443 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:56,172 I was like, "Really, bro?" [laughs] 444 00:17:56,172 --> 00:17:58,379 And then, so I was like, "Let me talk to your manager." 445 00:17:58,379 --> 00:18:00,586 And then the manager came out, and it's like, 446 00:18:00,586 --> 00:18:03,241 "Nothing I can do for you. We have no refund policy." 447 00:18:03,241 --> 00:18:05,551 So, I was like, "You about to come up 448 00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:08,517 with a refund for me, nigga." 449 00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:10,586 - You ever notice how some folks say the word "nigga," 450 00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:11,724 it just doesn't sound right? 451 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,620 - Leave him alone, Ray. Okay? 452 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:15,931 'Cause he may talk white, but he's still cute. 453 00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:17,517 - Actually, I'm sexy, 454 00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:19,620 but I don't even really talk white, baby. 455 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,551 I don't even know-- - Sam. 456 00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:24,206 Listen to your voicemail. 457 00:18:24,206 --> 00:18:26,000 - Yello, you've reached Sam Duvet. 458 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,862 You know what to do, and that is leave a message. 459 00:18:28,862 --> 00:18:31,655 [laughter] 460 00:18:31,655 --> 00:18:33,862 - "Yello, you've reached Frasier. Leave a message." 461 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,724 [laughter] 462 00:18:35,724 --> 00:18:38,517 - All right! You got me! 463 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,862 I talk "proper"! 464 00:18:41,862 --> 00:18:43,413 I can't even see with these on. 465 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:44,931 So, okay. So what? 466 00:18:44,931 --> 00:18:47,862 So because I talk proper that means I talk white? 467 00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:50,655 And then thus, to speak improperly 468 00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:53,689 means you speak black? Are we okay with this? 469 00:18:53,689 --> 00:18:55,620 Are we okay with this as a people? Hmm? 470 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,379 [laughter] 471 00:18:57,379 --> 00:18:59,724 You know what's cool? [laughter] 472 00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:02,275 Being your ding-dong self. 473 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,862 How 'bout that? 474 00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,586 Unless you are being yourselves, 475 00:19:05,586 --> 00:19:07,448 which I--you probably are, 476 00:19:07,448 --> 00:19:09,310 I don't know! I don't care! I guess my point is-- 477 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:13,034 is just have a good time! Cheers! 478 00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:15,482 Oh, heavens, is there pineapple in this Hpnotiq? 479 00:19:15,482 --> 00:19:16,758 I'm allergic to pineapple! 480 00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:18,620 [laughter] It's not funny! 481 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,275 It's a legitimate allergy! 482 00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:23,310 I need an antihistamine or an EpiPen! 483 00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:26,586 - Once I got her talking, Margaret never stopped. 484 00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:28,793 Today was actually a pretty fun day. 485 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,862 - Chrissy, you just tricked her into being mean. 486 00:19:31,862 --> 00:19:33,689 You're a bad person. 487 00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:35,689 - Go eat pineapples, you fat head. 488 00:19:35,689 --> 00:19:38,413 - Shut up. 489 00:19:38,413 --> 00:19:40,793 Hey, this is Sam. Leave a message. 490 00:19:40,793 --> 00:19:42,344 - Why do we still have to do this? 491 00:19:42,344 --> 00:19:44,724 I thought Angel dumped you. 492 00:19:44,724 --> 00:19:48,551 - You've reached Sam Duvet. Leave your thing at the bizzay! 493 00:19:48,551 --> 00:19:52,034 - Just use your regular voice. - I'm trying! 494 00:19:52,034 --> 00:19:55,310 Hey, you've reached Slammin' Sammy Duvet! 495 00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:58,862 I'm not here right now, because I'm out rocking the jocks! 496 00:19:58,862 --> 00:20:00,310 There it is. - There you go. Thank you. 497 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:01,896 That's all I ask. - That's it. 498 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,482 - That one felt right. - Use your regular voice. 499 00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:04,689 - That was it. - That's normal me. 500 00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:10,517 ["Wait for a Moment" by Vulfpeck] 501 00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:13,517 [sunny organ melody] 502 00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:16,413 ♪ ♪ 503 00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:25,310 - ♪ Yeah, oh yeah ♪ 504 00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:27,482 [stovetop igniter clicking] 505 00:20:27,482 --> 00:20:30,413 - No, I'm on my own now. 506 00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:32,724 I have to do this for myself. 507 00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,551 - ♪ Gone home, went to bed ♪ 508 00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:39,655 ♪ While the other kids they're still outside ♪ 509 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,793 [explosions] 510 00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:43,793 [somber organ music] 511 00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:45,862 ♪ ♪ 512 00:20:45,862 --> 00:20:48,724 - Elwood Warfield was a dedicated friend, 513 00:20:48,724 --> 00:20:50,517 a loving husband, 514 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:53,551 and though unemployed, he made life his job, 515 00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:56,655 which I guess he's now been fired from. 516 00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,413 [laughter] 517 00:20:58,413 --> 00:21:00,034 - It's funny. - That's a good joke. 518 00:21:00,034 --> 00:21:01,448 - That was actually funny. - That was pretty funny. 519 00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:03,068 - Damn it. 520 00:21:03,068 --> 00:21:05,862 [whispered] Yep, it was good.